Have you ever been so anxious to see a friend or family to tell them about the exciting projects you're working on or have successfully finished? Your naive side thinks they must’ve not known about what you’re up to since they never reached out to say congrats. And so, you finally see them and when you start sharing your story, they cut you off and say- “Oh! I know about that! I have seen it on your Instagram. In fact, I also saw on your Facebook that you got recognized for being the 'Top Salesperson' in your company! I was so proud, that, I called my friend Joe to tell him about you and he was very impressed! Congrats! So Proud of you!”
Let’s take a close look at this story. This person sees your accomplishment but instead of reaching out to you to say Congrats- they reached out to someone else to "brag" about you?! Does this even make sense?
"Ask yourself- Why is it so easy for me to support a stranger rather than one of my own? Could it be perhaps I am a hater?"
If we pick up the phone to call/text/comment on our friend’s achievement- it should directly be to OUR FRIEND. What is the point of calling other people to talk about "a friend's accomplishment" while we made no effort to congratulate the person themselves? Is it to show that we have ties with a successful person that everyone else is celebrating? Is it to get attention and validation? What is the driving force? If it was about being happy for our friend, then we could've reached out to OUR FRIEND first. Then, maybe we can go around spreading the news to others because we are too proud and happy for our friend that we can't stop talking about it.
This is a common practice with a lot of “so called friends and family.” Not being supportive when a friend needs it the most and not turning up to say congrats when their hard work pays off. In fact, we go radio silent and pretend our social media feed hides any post that highlights our friend’s accomplishment and effort. We will Like and Love anything under the sun on social media but that of own friend's.
We serve emoji buffet and essay like comments on bunch of stranger’s posts but when it comes to a real person we have a real relationship with, we say nothing OR we shoot them a private one line congrats message! Event then, what is the reason for this private celebratory text? What is wrong in having the same- if not a better sentiment towards our friend and congratulating them on their platform- openly?
"Besides, a friends genuine support is better than a million likes from random strangers, Be that friend. Love."
Ego? Maybe because we don’t want to acknowledge their success in front of common friends? Or could it be that they are doing something in their lives, that we are not? Perhaps, because they are taking actions to turn their dreams to reality and they became foreign to us? Or maybe we thought they will fail but they are pushing forward no matter what is thrown at them? Or we look at them, and what we see reflects everything we wish we were but we are not?
Ask yourself - Why is it so easy for me to support a stranger rather than one of my own? Could it be perhaps I am a hater? I know some of you might say- I am not a hater, I’m just not that active on social media! If that is your truth, then I hope you are the kind who picks up the phone to call/text to say - "I saw what you are doing and I am very proud of you. Keep rocking Queen. Keep Shining King"
Being a hater is a true emotional suffering - and it can only be healed by YOU. Practice unconditional Love. Practice abundance mindset. Understand that there is no cost to humility. That one’s big win doesn’t mean your big loss. Comfort the hater in you. Heal it with love. The reward will be one unmatched.
Besides, a friends genuine support is better than a million likes from random strangers, Be that friend. Love.
Very true. We need to really reflect on why we feel the need to not support those close to us when we expect our friends and families to support us.